


Feelings are complicated

by ClexaIsMyLowkeySavior



Series: My Love, We Are Stronger Together [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Artist Clarke Griffin, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Lexa, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Girl Penis Clarke Griffin, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, Indra and Gustus are Lexa's parents, Jealous Lexa, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Top Clarke, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-27 21:39:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16227845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClexaIsMyLowkeySavior/pseuds/ClexaIsMyLowkeySavior
Summary: Clarke is a fuckboy and doesn't give a shit about anyone well maybe except Lexa. Lexa is in love with Clarke Griffin, like insanely in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so I wanted to do another fic. This one is going to be short unless anyone wants me to continue with it, leave me some comments and tell me what you want. Hope you guys enjoy!

Clarke chuckles and shakes her head. She was watching Lexa Woods. Sure it sounded creepy when it's put like that. Clarke was watching Lexa dance and it made her hard as fuck. 

Lexa was swinging her hips back and forth to the beat of the music. She had a beer bottle in her hand and took a drink of it. Clarke couldn't help herself. She had to do something. 

Clarke moved forward and grabs Lexa's hips from behind. Lexa jumps slightly and turns around. Their eyes meet and Lexa's breath hitches. Clarke smirked and her eyes dropped down to the brunettes lips. 

"Clarke? What are you doing?" Clarke just smiles and pulls Lexa closer to her. 

"Dancing. Haven't you heard of it?" Clarke teases and watches the blush rise on Lexa's face. 

Lexa knew better. She shouldn't try anything with Clarke "fuckboy" Griffin. But Clarke was her friend and well she was in love with her. Lexa had loved Clarke since that day in 1st grade. 

Lexa was brought out of her thoughts from something poking her leg. She looked down and saw Clarke's bulge. She had to be throbbing through her boxers. Lexa suddenly gained confidence and bit her lip. She reached down slowly and gripped Clarke's dick through her shorts. 

Clarke's eyes widen and Lexa smirks. She had never seen Clarke look like this. It would be burned in her mind from now on. Knowing she had control she leaned forward and whispers in her ear, "You're so hard for me baby." 

Clarke groans and her dick twitches. She growls lowly and grips Lexa's hips harder. "You better watch what you say." Lexa just smirks and grabs Clarke's hand. 

Lexa opens a door and shoves Clarke in. She locks the door and turns around. Clarke was standing there gripping her cock and looking like she was holding back. Lexa grins and walks forward. 

The blonde watches Lexa's every move with hunger in her eyes. Lexa smiles at her and moves Clarke's hands away from her sweats. Clarke stares at her. 

Lexa gets down on her knees and pulls Clarke's pants down her legs. Clarke quickly grips Lexa's wrist. Lexa looks up at her and Clarke closes her eyes. "Lexa," She starts, "Are you sure about this?" Lexa looks at her curiously. Clarke sighs and slowly sinks down to her knees in front of Lexa. 

"I just-you know I don't just want sex right?" 

A bright smile spreads across the brunettes face. She knew Clarke always had something for her. She just wanted Clarke to make the first move. 

"I know I'm not just another bitch for you to fuck." Clarke nods and pushes herself up on the bed. Lexa's eyes look back down at Clarke's hard on. She eagerly grabs the hem of Clarke's boxers and shoves them down. 

Clarke's dick slaps against her abs and it makes her groan. Lexa grabs the base of her cock and gives one hard stroke. A harsh moan escaped Clarke's lips. She thrusted up into Lexa's hand feeling the warmth. Lexa chuckles and puts an arm over Clarke's hips. Clarke whines and tries to move. 

"Stop," Lexa says with a smirk, " I'm in control or nothing happens." Clarke nods her head frantically. Lexa smiles again and bends down, wrapping her lips over the head of Clarke's cock. A guttural moan escapes Clarke and her head falls back, eyes rolling in the back of her head. 

Lexa takes a second to breathe before pushing down on her length. She takes more and more of Clarke until her nose touches the blondes stomach. 

Clarke mutters, "Fuck." Hands tangle in Lexa's thick mane. Lexa smirks and bobs up and down on Clarke's dick. Fast and hard, she grabs her balls and toys with them. She could tell Clarke was close and she kept going until Clarke shouted, "Fuck Lexa!" Lexa greedily drinks everything Clarke has to offer. Her chest rises and falls rapidly until it stops and goes back to normal. 

Clarke looks at Lexa with wide eyes. "How the hell are you so good at that?" Lexa smiles and leans forward capturing Clarke's lips in kiss. "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I haven't had experience." Clarke feels herself grow harder at the thought of Lexa sucking a strap on. 

Lexa stands up and pulls her clothes off. Clarke hums, feeling her dominance kicking back in. She pushes herself off the bed and grabs Lexa's thighs. She easily hoists her up and Lexa squeals. She looks at her surprised and it makes Clarke smirk. 

Clarke runs a finger through Lexa's folds and groans escape from the both of them. "Fuck you're so wet right now." Lexa moans and arches into her touch. Clarke goes back over to the bed and pushes Lexa down. 

She grabs her cock and gives it a few strokes before slowly pushing the head in. Lexa yelps and grips Clarke's shoulders. Clarke looks up concerned. "Are you alright? Do you want to stop?" Lexa gives a breathless smile and shakes her head. 

"Just. Go slow, okay?" Clarke nods and slowly starts to push inside. 

Lexa shudders and slides her nails down the blondes back. She was starting to feel more pleasure then pain. 

"Faster please." Clarke starts to thrust harder and harder. Soon the room was filled with moans and groans. Lexa was in pure bliss. She had never felt so good. Clarke's cock felt so good inside of her, better than she thought. She was on edge but she really needed something to get her to cum. Something more but she didn't know. 

Clarke could tell Lexa was about to cum she just needed something to throw her off. Clarke reaches down and rubs her clit hard and fast. Lexa screams in ecstasy and her back arches. 

"Fuck Clarke!" Lexa shouts and shudders. Clarke cums just as hard as Lexa with a muttered, "Fuck me." 

Lexa's chest goes rapidly up and down, still coming down from her orgasm. Clarke slowly slips out of her and frowns at the smallest bit of red on her dick. 

She gets up and grabs a towel, cleaning both of them up and gently pulls Lexa on top of her. Lexa smiles and closes her eyes. "That was amazing." Clarke smiles and nods. Lexa cuddles closer to the blonde and hums. She had had a good night. And the best part was that Clarke had feelings for her too. She was happy. Clarke felt the same way Lexa did. And she was happy too. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa wake up together for a few minutes of bliss before an angry sister comes breaking down the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I didn't think anyone would enjoy this seeing most people have a passion for only Lexa having a dick. I personally enjoy both of them but have always seen Clarke as the more dominant one. Anyways, I've decided to make 6 chapters but if I get any requests I could make this a series. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Lexa groans quietly and shuffles closer to her pillow, except this pillow has arms and legs. Lexa's eyes flutter open and land on the sleeping blonde. Clarke looked so peaceful sleeping, like she didn't have to bear the burden of living up to her 'douchebag persona'. Normally whenever Lexa saw Clarke the girl had some sort of wall around her, like she had to live up to her friends expectations. 

Lexa raises her hand and gently tucks a strand of hair behind Clarke's ear. A gentle smile appears on Clarke's face and it makes Lexa flush. "Did I wake you?," Lexa asks in a soft whisper. Clarke shakes her head and cuddles closer to Lexa. 

"I was awake for a few minutes before you woke up." 

Lexas brows furrow and she says, " So you've been pretending to be asleep?" Clarke nods and a small giggle escapes her. Lexa gently smacks Clarke in the shoulder and shakes her head. 

"Don't hit me woman!" Lexa chuckles and runs her knuckles over Clarke's face. Clarke hums and opens her eyes looking into jade green. 

 Lexa leans in and looks at Clarke with hesitance. Clarke rolls her eyes and leans the rest of the way in, cupping Lexa's face softly and kissing her. After a moment Lexa pulls back and looks at the blonde. "What?," Clarke asks. 

Lexa sighs and gets all shy. "Did you mean what you said last night?," Lexa says in a small voice. 

Clarke smiles and shakes her head fondly. "Of course I did Lexa. You aren't like other girls, I mean you don't only see me as a fuck toy. You're different, in a good way and want more than just sex with you." 

Lexa feels a big smile spread on her face as she listens to Clarke. Lexa grips her chin and forces Clarke to look at her. Lexa opens her mouth to speak before the door slams open. 

" **WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!"**

Fuck it was Anya. 

Lexa shoves the covers over Clarke and looks at Anya carefully. "An it's okay, calm down." Anya glares at Lexa with wide eyes and shakes her head. "You're telling me to calm down? Fucking me?  **WE COULDN'T FIND YOU ALL DAMN NIGHT AND YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE!"** Anya was fuming and Lexa could tell, well anyone would be able to tell. 

"Anya I'm okay, alright please just calm down please?" Anya takes a few deep breaths and nods. 

Clarke glances up at Lexa through the covers. Shit was getting real and Clarke wanted to give the sisters time alone. 

"Can we at least get a moment of privacy without whoever the hell this is?" Lexa and Clarke both tense up. Lexa looks down hesitantly at Clarke. Clarke just nods at her and pushes herself up. Anya's eyes widen and anger fills her expression. 

"You mean to tell me you slept with this piece of shit fuckboy?!" Anya shouts. Clarke looks at Anya and carefully gets up. 

"Look I don't know you but I'm not like that with Lexa alright? Just let me get the hell out and leave you two alone, yeah?" Anya glares at her harshly. 

She storms forward and punches Clarke in the face. "Anya what the fuck!," Lexa yells. Anya goes to punch Clarke again but Clarke gets to first. Anya stumbles back at the force of Clarke's blow. 

Lexa runs in between the two of them and puts a hand of their chests. "Stop! Both of you calm the hell down! Anya get out. Clarke stay," Lexa says in a commanding voice. Anya huffs and storms out. 

Lexa turns around and slaps Clarke in the face. "Ow!" 

Lexa just shakes her head and shoves Clarke into the bathroom. "That was for punching my sister in the face, and yes I know she punched you first but still." Clarke huffs and crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry. That's how I normally take care of people." Lexa sighs softly and puts a hand on Clarke's face. She grabs a rag and puts water on it before gently pressing it on the blondes right eyebrow. Clarke winces and whines softly. Lexa shakes her head with a small smile. 

"You need to be more careful." 

"No promises." 

Lexa and Clarke smile at each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexa, Clarke, Raven, Anya, Octavia, and Lincoln all sat at the table. Clarke had a cut above her right eyebrow and Anya had a split lip. They had been talking about what happend and everyone came to an agreement; Lexa had her own life and could make decisions by herself. She didn't need Anya to make them for her. 

And Clarke. She was redeemable in the way she acted. No one knew why she acted like that, except Raven. Clarke and Raven had been friends since they were born. Raven knew pretty much everything about the blonde. 

It was back to normal and everything was calmer then before. Clarke had made them breakfast and it was actually really good. She had a mind for cooking and it was great. 

"Thank you Clarke, and uh I'm sorry for punching you in the face." Clarke looks up at Anya and shrugs. 

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Clarke was being genuine. She hated getting into fights but her anger was not easy to control. Of course she was a lot of things, but not a damn fighter. It reminded her of her past way to much. She may only be 17 but her past was full of shit. Abusive mom. Drunk dad. Her mom was dead from a drug overdose though, and her father was always far too shit-faced to hear anything she ever had to say. Raven and Octavia may be her friends but Raven was her family. 

Lexa though, she was different and Clarke liked it. She felt like she could trust her. Clarke was happy she had expressed her true feelings to the girl, maybe Lexa could help her be a better person. See the person Clarke really was. It terrified her but she still felt like she could trust her. 

Maybe she didn't have to hide behind her stupid ass persona anymore. Maybe she could be free with the brunette.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You never loved me! So don't act like you care." Clarke's heavy tears flowed down her face. Abby just laughed and walked away. Clarke screamed in anger and punched the wall, her blood splattering the wall and floor. She felt abandoned. 
> 
> Lexa looked at Anya and frowned, "Where are you going?" Anya had tears in her eyes as she walked to her sister. "It's going to be okay Lex. Just don't let these assholes get to you alright?" Lexa nodded and watched Anya walk away with a family. It hit her then, Anya had been adopted. She was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm glad you enjoyed my fic, I originally thought I was just gonna make this full of smut, but of course my mind decided against it and I have a lot of ideas. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to make this a series. For now let's see where this will go. Hope you guys enjoy!

_Clarke groans and looks down at her phone._ _Clarke shakes her head and stuffs her phone back into the pocket of her sweatshirt. She was running home from school. Today had been hectic because they had been on lockdown for about 3 hours._

_Clarke runs around the corner and sees her house. In the driveway was her mom's car. Clarke huffs and pulls her keys out of her pocket and unlocks the door. She was not in the mood to be yelled at or slapped. She opens the door and sighs, putting her backpack on the floor._

_"Clarke come here now!" Clarke groaned inwardly at her mother's shout. Once she enters the doorway Clarke sees her mother standing there, fuming with anger. Clarke gulps and looks at her. "Yeah mom?" Abby shakes her head and storms forward._

_"You got a fucking suspension? For talking during a lockdown?!"_

_Yeah okay. Clarke gets in trouble a lot but this was surprising. Her mother never cared what happened to her, so she just shrugged. "Yeah, I know I don't really care either."_

_Slap. One harsh slap across the face and Abby explodes. "You don't care? Really Clarke? Are you fucking kidding me!? You got a damn suspension during a lockdown. A fucking lockdown! And you don't care? What the hell is wrong with you?" Clarke felt tears coming to the surface._

_"You never loved me! So don't act like you care." Clarke's heavy tears flowed down her face. Abby just laughed and walked away. Clarke screamed in anger and punched the wall, her blood splattering the wall and floor. She felt abandoned._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Lexa was upset. She had nothing to do and was bored because Anya had so many friends in the foster care place. Lexa was a loner in the system and only had Anya really._

_She just wished her and Anya could find a family that wanted them. There had been a few, but they eventually decided they didn't want the two sisters. She hated it and so did Anya._

_The door to their shared room bursted open and Anya turned away from what she was doing to look at the people standing there._

_Lexa sighs and looks at them as well. "That's the one." Jaha says._

_At that both Lexa and Anya's brows furrow. What the hell did he mean? The two both grin and nod at Jaha._

_"Anya get up. You're going with them." Anya gets up messily and stares at him with surprise. "Um okay.."_

_Lexa looked at Anya and frowned, "Where are you going?" Anya had tears in her eyes as she walked to her sister. "It's going to be okay Lex. Just don't let these assholes get to you alright?" Lexa nodded and watched Anya walk away with a family. It hit her then, Anya had been adopted. She was alone._

_~~~~~~~_

Clarke is so close to falling asleep in class when her phone vibrates in her pocket. It's from Lexa. 

**11:47am: Hey Clarke, I know you're in class right now but I wanted to ask if you want lunch together?**

Clarke feels heat spread through her cheeks. Her and Lexa had been together for about 3 weeks now and Clarke was still getting use to having Lexa being very bold with her. 

**11:49am: Yeah sure baby girl. I get out of class in about 5 minutes, where should I meet you?**

Clarke sighed and looked back up at the projector. Some stupid movie was playing and really no one was watching. Her phone buzzed again and she looked back down at it. 

**11:51am: You have to stop calling me those names before I pull you out of class. And meet me at the courtyard near where the big stage is okay?**

Clarke smirks at the text and responds quickly. 

**11:52am: Okay baby girl. And I wouldn't mind if you pulled me out of class ;)**

Clarke grinned and stuffed her phone back in the pocket of her sweatpants. She decides to just watch the rest of it since the bell was going to ring soon. 

After 3 minutes of boredom the bell rings and everyone races up. Clarke is the first out as she checks her phone. She had one text from Raven. 

**11:52am: Hey Clarkey, don't forget we have to talk to your dad tommorow okay?**

**11:56am: Okay thanks Raven. And btw I still hate that nickname.**

**11:58am: I know Clarkey. You're welcome!**

Clarke sighs and makes her way outside. She sees Lexa and a smile appears on her face. Until she walks a little closer and sees who the brunette is talking to. Costia Forest. Lexa's ex girlfriend. Clarke felt anger deep inside her put she quickly pushes it down and walks to Lexa. 

"Hey Lex. Costia," Clarke says Costia's name bitterly. Lexa smiles at her and pulls her into a kiss. 

Clarke hears Costia snort. "Really Lexa? You're dating this fuckboy?" Lexa pulls back and glares at her. 

Clarke chuckles and says, "Like you're any better. Everyone on campus knows what you did to Lexa and I would never do that. So you can walk the hell away before I knock you to the ground." 

Costia bristles and huffs before walking away. 

Clarke hears Lexa laugh and it's the best thing she's heard all day. She looks over and Lexa is shaking her head at the blonde. 

"What?" Clarke asks and Lexa just smiles and grabs her hand. Clarke climbs in the passenger seat and Lexa in the driver's seat. 

"So care to tell me where we're going?" Lexa grins and shakes her head. 

"You'll see." Clarke sighs and looks out the window, watching the trees fly by. 

The radio was playing and Clarke was just really tired. It was a smooth song too. One you could fall asleep to. And that's exactly what happened. Clarke fell asleep while Lexa was driving. 

Lexa looked over at the blonde and chuckled quietly when she saw she was asleep. She better be awake enough to see where we're going, Lexa thinks to herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Next we get to see the two having lunch together so stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a date and things get wild. Then they have a bit of a falling out. Don't worry it'll get better I swear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I decided to make this a series. And for the people who read my other fic, The Blue Eyed Alpha, don't worry I haven't abandoned it! I'm trying to decide how to write the chapter. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

Clarke groaned as she was shaken awake. Lexa smiled gently at her, "C'mon sleepyhead we're here." Clarke wipes the sleep out of her eyes and looks up. A look of confusion flies across her face. What the hell were they doing at a strip club? 

Lexa chuckles and opens Clarke's door. "Uh Lex?" Lexa looks at her amused. 

"You'll see." Clarke was very curious now. What did Lexa have in mind. Hell Clarke thought they were going to lunch. They enter the club and Lexa simply smiles and winks at the man who looked at them strangely. 

"Lexa what the fuck are we doing here?" Lexa just pulls her into the back where a man stood. "Lexa Woods?" The gruff man asked. She nodded and the man grunted and opens the door. Lexa drags her into the room where only a chair sat. It was dim and the only light source was a few pink lights on. 

Lexa smirked and turned to Clarke. She shoves on Clarke's chest. "Sit down baby." Lexa had her seductive voice out and it made Clarke shiver. She did as told and sat down. Lexa disappeared for a moment and Clarke was there alone, sitting on a chair in a strip club. A few moments later Lexa walked back in and over to Clarke. She was only wearing a black lacy bra and thin black panties. "Holy fuck," Clarke says. 

Lexa smirked and moved forward. She sat on Clarke's lap still with that damn smirk on her face. Lexa started to grind down onto Clarke's bulge. 

Clarke moans and her hands fly up to grip Lexa's waist. Lexa smiles looking at her girlfriend. She leans forward and whispers in Clarke's ear. "I knew you would like this." Clarke swallows a groan and nods. 

Lexa starts to rut herself against Clarke, moaning loudly. Clarke growls and stands up with Lexa still in her arms. She walks over to the couch and throws Lexa down on it. Clarke rips Lexa's panties off and dives in. 

Lexa moaned as she felt Clarke immediately latch onto her clit. Clarke hums and the vibration rolls through Lexa. 

Clarke starts to eat Lexa out with no mercy, going from her clit to her hole. "Fuck I'm gonna cum!" Lexa shouts and her legs capture Clarke's head in a hold. 

Clarke gets Lexa right to the edge and pushes back with all her strength. Lexa whines and looks at Clarke with betrayal. Clarke grunts, "Scoot up baby." Lexa scoots up and Clarke sits next to her, propping herself up on the arm. She taps her thighs and Lexa quickly straddles her. Clarke puts her hands on Lexa's waist as Lexa starts to push herself down on Clarke's dick. 

Once Lexa is fully seated she looks back at Clarke. The blonde looks at her with hunger in her eyes. "How about.." Clarke starts, " You ride me?" Lexa moaned and nods her head. "Slowly." Clarke says, knowing that Lexa was eager to start. 

Lexa starts to slowly ride up and down on Clarke. A harsh moan escapes Lexa's lips. "Fuck you're so big." Clarke smirks at her. Lexa's nails dig into Clarke's shoulders hard. 

Clarke takes a deep breath. Lexa was tight as fuck. Her length inside of velvety hotness. Clarke loved having sex with Lexa. Wether it was hot and needy or slow and sensual. Lexa was beautiful and Clarke always thought highly of her. No matter the problem. 

Lexa shouts and shudders, Clarke's cock had hit her g-spot. "Fuck I'm gonna cum!" Clarke grunts and gives one harsh thrust that sends Lexa over the edge. 

" **Fuck Clarke!!"** Clarke groans and cums inside of Lexa. 

Lexa's head drops into the dip of Clarke's neck. "That was intense.." Lexa smiles and closes her eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

**1 Week Later**

"What the fuck!" Lexa storms out of the room and back into the parking lot. "Wait! Lex please let me explain!" Clarke runs after Lexa and manages to grab her arm and swing her around. 

Lexa turns and shoves Clarke away. "Fuck you Clarke." Clarke shakes her head and looks at Lexa. "Please baby let me explain." 

Lexa looks at her like she's crazy. "No you don't get to do that. Don't call me baby we're over Clarke," Lexa says with venom in her voice. 

"Please it wasn't what it looked like!" 

"It wasn't what it looked like? Clarke you were in bed with someone else. You have no shirt on. The room smelled like fucking sex! I can't believe you. I thought we actually had something." Lexa wipes the tears off her face. 

Clarke looks down at the ground. "I'm sorry.." Lexa sighs softly and cups Clarke's chin, forcing her to look at the brunette. Clarke had tears in her eyes. 

"I know you are Clarke." With that Lexa turns around and gets in her car, driving away. 

Clarke shivers and watches her drive away. She knew she had fucked up. She had fucked up bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me please! Clarke isn't in the right state of mind at the moment. She'll get worse before she gets better. Hope you guys enjoyed anyways!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a crash and burn. Lexa realizes her mistake after a heated conversation with Raven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes I caused some confusion. No Clarke did not cheat on Lexa. It really seems like it did but I hate that storyline. It would ruin everything between the two of them. Clarke loves Lexa and wouldn't cheat on her, Lexa was angry and didn't want to hear what Clarke said. Plus if I did have Clarke cheat on her it would make a huge difference for them, there would always be distrust between them. I'm sorry for causing that confusion. And I'm always open to hearing your thoughts so don't be afraid to tell me if I got something wrong. Anyways, hopefully you guys enjoy!

**1 month later**

Clarke sighed and looked at her dad. He was in the hospital again, he had overdosed and was way to close to dying. Clarke had been terrified as she rushed to the hospital. 

Jake was hooked up to so many machines and Clarke hated it. She wanted to go back and stop all of it from happening. Her dad was never a good person, but he had at least always tried to be there for her, unlike her mother. 

"It's not your fault kiddo." Jake's voice pulled Clarke out of her thoughts. She looked up at him and frowned. 

"I know." Jake sighed and shook his head at her. "I know I'm not the best father kid, you may not love me but please, don't blame yourself for anything." Clarke felt tears grow in her eyes. 

"I never said I didn't love you," Clarke says quietly, "I just wish you weren't like this." 

Jake nods and pushes himself up. "Yeah I know that. I wish it was different. You know I've been going to therapy and stuff like that. Trying to get over all this. I hate that we don't have a good relationship. I want to be better for you. I want to see you live your dream. I want to see you graduate. I want to see you have kids, and get married. I want to be the father you've always wanted Clarke. I just want to have something to live for." 

Clarke inhales sharply and glances at him. Tears were threatening to spill over the edge. When she saw he was crying thats when she erupted. A broken sob escaped her and she collapses into his arms. She thinks of all the things that she's done, all the things she's fucked up. Lexa, Octavia, Raven, Anya, Lincoln, Murphy, Bellamy. All of them. She had been alone after Lexa had left her. It may have been a misunderstanding, but it fucked her up. She had pushed everyone away. Like she always does. She hated the way she acted. And then there was her parents. Her mom hated for as long as she could remember. She was a druggie and abusive. Both mentally and physically. And then she had overdosed and died. Her dad she always kept away from him because she didn't want to be hurt. When he dies she'll know she's gonna be hurt. That's why she never kept a good relationship with him. She hated her life. The things she had fucked up. It felt good to cry in her dad's arms though. 

After about 10 minutes she was okay. She pulls back and wipes her eyes. She opens her mouth to apologize but Jake shakes his head. 

"Don't. It's okay to cry. It proves you're still human." 

Clarke nods. That's when Jake's monitor starting beeping fast. She looked up and saw his eyes roll into the back of his head. "Dad?" Clarke shook him, "Dad!" The door slammed open and nurses rushed in. 

Clarke moves behind them and looks down at her dad. "Someone get her out of here!" Clarke shakes her head when someone grabs her elbow, "No please," Clarke begs the man, " Please he's all I have left!" The doctor doesn't listen and pushes her out of the door. 

Clarke watches them push her father down the hall with tears in her eyes. She hears the nurses telling her to go to the waiting room and that's what she does. What if he dies? Clarke felt the tears rolling down her cheeks in waves. No. He couldn't die. He couldn't. If he did Clarke would really have no one then. She had already pushed everyone she loved away. She would be alone. 

**2**   **hours** **later**

 

 Clarke had been waiting for 2 damn hours. She was frustrated. She had no idea how her dad was doing. 

A doctor named, Charles Andrews, came up to her. "Clarke Griffin, right?" Clarke nods and stands up. 

He looks at her with heavy eyes. "I'm so sorry. We did everything we could." Those words hit Clarke hard. She looks at him. 

"You're joking right? Please tell me he's alive." He shakes his head at her. 

"I'm sorry, Ms. Griffin. He's gone." 

Clarke feels angry, and lost. She runs out of the hospital, getting in her car and slamming the door. She screams in anger and slams her fists against the wheel. She takes a few deep breaths and slowly starts to drive. 

In 10 minutes she's home. Clarke steps out of the car and stumbles inside. She looks around the house at all the pictures. Her dad and mom was in most of them. She looked at one that had Clarke with her dad. She was 5 in the picture. 

Clarke yells in anger and punches the picture, sending glass flying all over the place and the frame falling to the floor. 

"Fuck!" She shouts and looks at more of the pictures. Clarke slams her fists repeatedly into each picture she comes across. Tears fell down her cheeks. She shouted in frustration and slid down the wall. 

She was alone for real this time. She slowly pushes herself up and walks into the bathroom. Clarke looks down at her hands. Her knuckles were busted and bleeding. Clarke sighs and opens a drawer. The first thing she sees is pills. A lot of them. Clarke picks them up and stares at them. 

Her hand starts to shake as she raises them closer to her mouth. She looks up at herself in the mirror. Her face was red and blood was dripping from her hands. She shakes her head glances back down at the pills. 

"Fuck no. What are you doing Clarke?" She throws the pills back into the drawer and storms out of the bathroom. She would accomplish nothing by killing herself. 

Clarke storms into her room and grabs a backpack. She shoves clothes and a pair of sneakers into the backpack and zips it. 

She had to leave. Move to a different town or something. She didn't know, but she was going to figure it out. She climbs into her car and sighs. It was Christmas time. She should be celebrating with her mom and dad. With her friends and Lexa. But she wasn't. It was her own fault really. She starts driving with no exact destination in mind. 

Her wheels slip on the ice slightly but she she ignores it and keeps driving. Her left wheels hit a bump hard and Clarke looks to the side for a brief moment. She hears a car honk loudly and looks up. Her eyes widen and she pulls to the side as best as she can. That's where her mistake came in. She hit something and it makes her tire pop. "Fuck!" Clarke shouts as she continues to pull her car to the side. Another car comes up from behind her and hits hers. She closes her eyes as her car flies into a pole. 

Clarke opens her eyes and looks around the pole was about a foot away from her face. She quickly opens her door and pushes herself out. Clarke backs away quickly as the car bursts into flames. 

"No...Fuck! No no no! You've got to be kidding me!" Clarke looks at her car and shakes her head. Her backpack had been in there. Her phone. Clarke now really had lost everything, well except her clothes and stupid ass snapback. She sighed and started to walk down the side of the road. This was going to be an even longer day. 

~~~~~~~~~

Lexa chuckles looking at Anya. "So you mean to tell me, you fucked a waiter just to get a free meal?" Everyone laughs along with Lexa as Anya flushes red. "It was limited edition fries!" Raven shakes her head and throws an arm around Anya's shoulders. 

"It's fucking fries babe." Anya huffs and shoves her away. "Whatever. It was worth it." 

Again laughter breaks out through everyone. The news suddenly blasted through the whole house. 

**Tonight police found a car on fire in a ditch near a neighborhood. No one was found near the sight but they did find a backpack and the only thing that remained was a piece of it that had the initials, C.G02. Police have been unsuccessful to find who it belonged to.**

Raven felt her heart rate pick up when the initials were read. That was Clarke's backpack. Raven had always told her the 02 was stupid but Clarke had shrugged and told her. 'In case I go missing and you find it you'll know it isn't someone else with the initials C.G.' 

Looking back on it now Raven knows something bad has happened to Clarke. She zeros back into the conversation. 

"Who the hell puts an 02 next to their initials?" Octavia says. Lexa, Anya, and Lincoln all shrug. 

Raven quickly moves forward to the table and picks up her phone, dialing Clarke's number. The 4 friends look at her strangely. 

"Are you okay Raven?" Lexa asked. 

Raven didn't answer just listened to the ring. She felt panic spread threw her when Clarke didn't pick up. "No fuck. Oh fuck no no!" Raven rushes to call her again. "C'mon. C'mon pick up dammit!" 

Raven listens to the ring again and shouts in anger. Anya moves forward and puts her hands on Raven's shoulders. "Raven what happened?" 

"Those initials. They're Clarke's. I watched her write them on the backpack. She won't fucking answer my calls!" Everyone is slient with their eyes wide. 

"Those were Clarke's?" It was Lexa who spoke up first. Raven looks at her and nods. Lexa's eyes widen and she takes a deep breath. 

Raven picks her phone up again and calls Jake. Maybe he knows what happened. It rings and rings before it stops and goes to voicemail. 

"Fuck." Raven didn't know what to do. Lexa looks at her.

"Raven? Can we talk?" Raven nods and follows Lexa. 

"Okay look. I broke up with Clarke you know that, everyone knows that. But she wanted to explain what happened and only you could know what happened. So, please tell me. Tell me I didn't fuck things up and that the last thing Clarke ever heard me said was I know." 

Raven looks at Lexa. She knows what happend. The reason Clarke pulled away from her was because Lexa broke up with her. Raven had been the one in the bed with Clarke. She had been drunk as fuck and could barley stand. She had thrown up all over herself and Clarke had given her her shirt. The room smelled like sex because a couple had been in there fucking each other, before Clarke had kicked them out. 

Raven sighs and tells Lexa everything. She watches as Lexa's eyes widen with horror. "Fuck! I-I ruined things with her because I thought she cheated on me! Why? Why didn't you tell me?" 

Raven looks at her with apologetic eyes. "She blamed me for what happend. I don't blame myself or her. She was fucked up after you left her. She was angry and sad. So she blamed me for it and pushed me away. I didn't think it mattered until now. I'm sorry Lexa." 

Lexa shakes her head and runs a hand though her hair. "I don't blame you. I blame myself." Raven nods and sighs. 

A sharp knock on the door makes both of them jump. Lexa opens the door to see Anya, Lincoln, and Octavia standing there. 

"Guys," Octavia says, " We have a problem." 

Raven and Lexa follow them back into the living room. "Well what is it?" Octavia takes a deep breath. 

"Jake is dead." Raven feels her heart skip a beat. The last piece of family Clarke had was dead. Jake had died. 

"He died today, while Clarke was talking to him. They tried to perform surgery on him. They had found a blood clot from the previous surgery. He died and Clarke was in the waiting room for 2 hours. When the doctor went to talk to her, Clarke ran out of the building and drove away." That hits them all hard. Clarke had been talking to her father and he died. 

"Fucking hell," Raven says, "Has anyone heard from her?" They all shake their heads. 

Tears form in Raven's eyes. Clarke was her family. The two had gone through everything together. Pain, love, heartbreak, going on runs together, backing each other up in fights, getting broken arms. Whatever the hell else you could think of really. Raven saw Clarke as her sister and she knew Clarke thought the same. 

"I can't lose Clarke guys. I can't she's my fucking family. I don't care if she pushed me away she's my best friend. She can't be dead. She can't die!" By this point tears were flowing down Raven's face. Anya moves forward and wraps her arms around Raven. 

Everyone looked at each other. They really couldn't lose her either. No matter what happend. 

"We will find her Raven." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clarke looks around at the city she was in. Polis. It was nice and big as hell. She sighs and walks into a store. She had about 7 dollars in her pocket. Clarke moves towards the drinks and decides to get a monster. She never really liked energy drinks but she wanted something to wake her up at least a little. She also grabs a bag of hot cheetos. Mainly because it's all she can afford. 

Clarke walks up to the register and places her things down, pulling out her money. "That'll be 7.46 please." Clarke groans looking at her hands again. They were still busted and bleeding slightly, but that wasn't what she needed to be focusing on. 

She looks back up to see the man looking at her hands with wide eyes. "I only have 7 bucks." The man looks back up into her eyes. 

He sighs and moves behind the counter. He comes back with bandages in his hands. "If you bandage your hands I'll let you take them for free." Clarke looks at him gratefully. She quickly moves to put the bandages on her hands and when she's done she looks back up at him. He nods at her and puts the stuff in the bag. "Thank you." He just gives her a small smile. 

Clarke walks back out and groans. She decides to sit down on a bench and eat her cheetos. Each movement of her hands made them pull and hurt worse. There was already blood seeping through her bandages anyways. She sighs and lays back on the bench. She was tired and wanted to sleep. Clarke closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. 

Clarke wakes up to the feeling of rain on her face. She grunts opening her eyes. It was a giant storm. Clarke pushes herself off the bench. She was starting to get soaked fast. Clarke walks over to an area where the rain couldn't reach her. Clarke sighs and looks around. How the hell did she end up here?

~~~~~~~~~

Lexa and all the others had agreed on looking around for Clarke. Lexa had decided to go to Polis. She didn't know if Clarke would be there, but of course she had to check. 

She drives around for a while before she enters the city part of Polis. Lexa sighs and glances at all the buildings. It was raining pretty badly and if Clarke was here she would be fucking soaked. 

Lexa looked over at a gas station and that's when she spots blonde hair. Lexa feels a small smile of relief appear on her face. She gets out of her car and quickly walks over to her. 

"Clarke?" Clarke's head snapped up and met Lexa's eyes. She had a small cut on her right cheek and her hands were a bloody mess through the bandages securing them. Lexa walks closer to her and sees the blonde flinch. 

"How did you find me?" Lexa looks at her. 

"Your car was on the news in flames. Raven recognized your initials from the piece of backpack that survived. She freaked out and started crying. And uh she told me what really happened that day." Clarke sighs and runs a hand through her tangled locks. She shakes her head at Lexa. 

"You should just leave. I'm not going back to Arkadia. I can't. Lexa look you may forgive me but I don't forgive myself. You came across a dead end. I failed." Lexa feels her heart break. 

Lexa shakes her head and moves forward, crouching down in front of the blonde. She grips the girls face and makes her look at her. "Clarke you didn't fail. I forgive you. You have to forgive yourself because you didn't do anything, alright? Yeah you may have made me freak out but that's okay. I'm sorry I didn't want to listen to you. I should have." 

Clarke sighs again and looks her in the eyes. Clarke looked small and vunrable. Lexa hated it. She looked tired and hungry, and she was shivering sitting in soaked clothes. 

Lexa glares at her, "Get in the car Clarke," Lexa says with authority in her voice. Clarke grunts and pushes herself up. She walks to the car and gets in the passenger seat. Lexa sends a text to the group chat Raven had made in case any of them found Clarke. 

**2:47am: Found her. Gonna bring her home and stay the night. She doesn't look like she's okay.**

**2:48am R: Damn okay, just don't leave her alright?**

**2:49am: O: Yeah she'll probably freak out or something.**

**2:50am: Don't worry I got her.**

Lexa stuffs her phone back into her pocket and walks back to her car. She opens the door and climbs in. Clarke's eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and calm. Lexa smiled slightly and shook her head. She had been doing that a lot lately. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Lexa pulled into Clarke's drive way and looked over at the blonde. She pushes herself out of the car and walks to the passenger door. She opens it and gently shakes Clarke awake. 

"C'mon get up. You're home." Clarke groans and picks her head up. She sees Clarke's eyes widen. 

"You brought me here?" Lexa frowns and nods. 

"Is that a problem?" Clarke huffs and closes her eyes for a brief moment. She opens them and looks at Lexa. She pushes herself up and walks past Lexa straight to the door. Lexa follows her. 

Clarke inhales thickly and regrets what she did hours earlier. She pushes the door open and sighs. Looking around at all the broken glass. Lexa pushes in next to her, her jaw dropping to the floor. 

"You did this?" Clarke nods and walks up the stairs. Lexa groans and looks around. She goes upstairs quickly after Clarke though. 

She pushes the door open and freezes where she is. Clarke was only in her boxers and sports bra. Her front was exposed and Lexa quickly turns away. She hears a small chuckle come from the blonde. 

"You've seen me naked before Lexa, it's fine if you look." Lexa sighs and shakes her head turning around. 

"Clarke you're not in the right state of mind. I forgive you, but let's start slow you know?" Clarke nods and lays down on the bed. Lexa shuffles on her feet. 

"Come lay down Lexa," Clarke says it softly. Lexa shakes her head and walks forward, laying down on the bed. 

Clarke looks at her. "Thank you Lexa." Lexa looks back.

"No problem Clarke." Lexa felt her heart rate pick up. She was still madly in love with the blonde. Lexa sighs softly and looks up at the ceiling. Today had been a long day. She just wanted her Clarke back. She wanted to feel Clarke's strong arms wrap around her. She wanted Clarke's soft kisses in the mornings again. She wanted Clarke's cock back. She wanted every little thing her and Clarke once did. 

Lexa groans, "Maybe one day.." She whispers to herself. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa wakes up with some confusion, she goes down stairs and sees Clarke and Raven talking. Some more of Clarke's past is revealed. Big-ish time jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so this is the second to last chapter. This fic had been pretty messy, but what's a fic without a little mess right? There will be more added to this series. I hope you guys enjoy!

Lexa groans as she wakes up. The brunette opens her eyes and looks around. She sighs and pushes herself up. Clarke was no where to be seen. Lexa pushes the door open and walks downstairs. 

She stops midway when she hears Raven's voice. 

"Clarke your hands are fucked up what were you thinking!" She hears Clarke's groan. 

"I wasn't Raven okay?" Lexa walks down the rest of the way and it gets the attention of the two other people in the room. 

"You're awake," Raven says. Lexa nods and looks between the two. 

"What's going on?" Clarke looks at her. "I'm gonna stay with Clarke for a few days." Lexa nods again and grabs her car keys.

"Lexa?" Lexa looks back at Clarke. "Yeah?" Clarke swallows and sighs, "Thank you." Lexa smiles slightly and walks out the door to her car. 

~~~~~

Raven looks at Clarke with a smile. "Well that was a beginning right?" Clarke groans and falls back on the couch. 

"Yeah right." Clarke chuckles. Raven chuckles along with her. 

"Well you gotta start somewhere right?" Clarke squints her eyes at Raven. Raven does the same thing. The two have a stare off before Clarke caves with a groan. 

"Yeah whatever." Raven shakes her head at the blonde. 

"Don't you wanna start somewhere with her? Look it was none of our faults. We both know that. I know that the both of you are gonna keep apologizing to each other though because you guys are sappy as fuck to each other. Clarke she needs you and you need her. You guys both need time first, but at least make an attempt at being friends." 

Clarke looks at her curiously. She frowns and thinks about what Raven said. After a month Clarke had known it was none of their faults. Of course she was still gonna need time. She knew Lexa would too. Maybe it wouldn't be to bad being friends though. Clarke didn't know for sure. It hurt to be around Lexa without being able to hold her or kiss her. Clarke loved Lexa deeply, but she wasn't ready for a relationship. She needed time. 

"You're right Raven. I'm going to start slow and if nothing happens and we stay friends. Then we stay friends." Raven grins at her. 

"Alright bitch let's get drunk as fuck!" 

~~~~~~~~

It had been 4 hours and 6 drinks later. 6 drinks that had Clarke drunk as hell. 

 She knows the only reason Raven wanted to get her drunk was because she was more open when she was wasted. Clarke knew Raven had messed up her chance since she was also drunk as hell. 

 Clarke sighs and looks over at Raven. She was talking to Anya on the phone about having sex and Clarke was getting uncomfortable. Raven was a lot more drunk than Clarke though. Raven had mixed vodka and whiskey together. 

Clarke hadn't been surprised though, Raven always liked stronger drinks. Clarke huffs and stands up, deciding to drink some coffee. 

She wanted to be sober and take a shower. Clarke sighs again and runs a hand through her hair. After a few cups of coffee, Clarke decides she's sober enough to not fall and crack her head in the shower. 

She walks into the living room and sees Raven passed out on the floor. With a small shake of her head and a chuckle, the blonde makes her way to the bathroom. 

Clarke pulls her shirt and pants off. She glances up at the mirror and looks at herself. Clarke had worked her whole life for her abs. She started skating when she was 5 and playing sports when she was 7. She always loved anything athletic. She was proud of her body, but looking back on how she acted she hated it. She would just go around fucking any girl that tried anything with her. 

That thought made her look down at her member. She remembers the first school she had gone to. Clarke's secret had gotten out and she ended up in the hospital. Three boys had entered the locker room when she was alone. They had called her names and beat her up. The worst part of that was when they had repeatedly kicked her in the groin. Her mom and dad had decided to put her in a different school. 

Clarke shakes her head and pulls her bra and boxer briefs off. She steps into the shower and turns hot water on. 

A sigh escapes her lips as water rushes down her shoulders. Clarke loves showers. It's her safe place. But it also allows her to think. Of anything really. Her mind always wanders places when she's in the shower. Today it seems like the only thing on her mind was her past. 

 Clarke remembers all the boys names. Shawn, Gage, and Jack. The three troublemakers is what the principal had called them. The three had always picked on the lower grades and the L.D. kids. Clarke shakes her head at the memory of watching Jack beat up one of the L.D. kids. She didn't remember the poor kids name, but she did remember that he had ended up in the hospital. Two broken ribs, a cracked skull, broken arm, broken wrist, and a fractured collarbone. The parents had tried to sue, but it was no use, Jack's family was powerful and rich. 

Clarke hated them with a passion. She remembered telling one of them to piss off and in return got a book thrown at her head. Clarke huffs and forces herself to drift away from those thoughts. 

She continues her shower without problems. The blonde dreaded whenever she had to get out of the shower. Mainly because of the fact she had to step back into reality. 

Clarke goes back to her room and finds a note. 

_Clarke, Anya picked me up. I'm sorry but she said I was too drunk to do anything. I'll talk to you when I can. Love ya._

A chuckle passes through her lips. Of course Raven had left. It didn't really bother her as much as she thought it would though. 

Clarke goes to sleep with one thing on her mind. 

How the hell is the next few months gonna go by?

**4 months later**

 Clarke chuckles looking at her friends from down below. She was on the roof of the house to get away from people for a while. They were having a crazy part and it was really good so far, but Clarke had gotten slightly overwhelmed and, being the only one who knew how to get on, had gotten on the roof. 

Everything in her life was pretty good. She was friends with all her friends again, she was developing a good relationship with Lexa, and she had therapy sessions. She didn't enjoy the therapy as much, but she only had a couple more sessions before she was good. And Lexa and her had become close again. They weren't together, both agreeing to give each other time, but they were in a good place with each other. It was good. Really good. 

Clarke snapped back into reality when she heard feet on the shingles. She looks over and sees Lexa. The brunette offers her a small smile which Clarke gives back. 

"Hey, what are you doing up here?" Clarke sighs and looks at the girl pointedly. 

"I just like it up here I guess," Clarke says. 

It's Lexa's turn to look at her strangely. She shakes her head and sits next to Clarke. "Yeah right. I know you. You're up here because you're stressed. And before you ask why I'm up here, it's because I wanted to get away from Costia." Clarke tenses at the name but forces herself to relax immediately. 

Clarke just chuckles breathlessly and says, "Yeah well maybe I'm a bit stressed. And what did Costia do?" Lexa looks at her with a small, fond smile. 

"It doesn't matter, why are you stressed?" Clarke narrows her eyes at the older girl. 

"Don't deflect my question." Lexa scoffs and shakes her head quickly. 

"I'm not!" 

"Yes you are!" 

"No I'm not, you are!" 

"Me? How am I deflecting the question? It's you!" 

Lexa playfully smacks her shoulder and Clarke gives her a fake gasp. "How dare you." Lexa chuckles before breaking into a laughing fit. Clarke burns red at her. 

"Y-you're f-face looked s-so funny!" Clarke huffs and glares at her. 

"Shut up! No it did not." Lexa laughs louder at that. Clarke was glaring out at the street. The past months it had been hard to control her anger. Especially when someone was laughing at her. She had punched a few people in the face, but she would never hurt her friends. 

Lexa had calmed down and was now looking silently at Clarke. Clarke can feel a pair of eyes on her and slowly turns her head to meet Lexa's jade green eyes. 

The two look at each other for a long while. No talking or anything. Just the both of them, studying each other's faces and being quiet. Clarke watches as Lexa's eyes drop down to her lips and Clarke can't help but to look down at the taller girls lips as well. The past few months Clarke had had a hard time trying not to kiss Lexa, but in this moment she wanted nothing more than to kiss her. 

Her train of thought stops when she feels Lexa's hands wrap around her neck and pull her close. Their lips collide and all the sparks they had had are brought back to the surface. All the times Clarke had kissed Lexa, all the times the two would tease each other until one of them would break and kiss the other, the times when they were happy together. 

Clarke lets Lexa have all the control. She didn't want to mess anything up, plus the kiss was good. It was slow and intimate, something neither girl had thought they needed until this very moment. 

Lexa pulls back with a soft smile on her face as she rests her forehead on Clarke's. Clarke gives her a small smile as well. 

"I missed you," Lexa says in a piercing whisper. 

"I missed you too," Clarke whispers right back. 

The two both smile at each other and kiss some more. 

It had turned out to be a good night. 

~~~~~

Clarke groans when she feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It was the night after Lexa had kissed her and she was at the gym. Her and Lexa were on great terms together. They had had a serious conversation about what had happened and if they were okay with being with each other. The had both agreed on taking things slow still, but they were together. 

It was good. Clarke had woken up with Lexa in her arms again and she had slipped away to go to the gym. Her phone buzzes again and Clarke stops what she was doing and grabs it. 

**9:32am Lexa: hey, I'm guessing you're at the gym. I just wanted to say good morning and that I have a few classes today.**

**9:35am Lexa: Oh and I wanted to ask if you could eat lunch today at around 12.**

Clarke sighs and smiles, quickly typing back a response. 

**9:38am Clarke: Yeah I'm at the gym good morning as well. I have a class at around 11:30 but I'll try to eat.**

**9:40am Lexa: Alright, I'll see you later.**

**9:41am Clarke: Yeah see you later.**

Clarke stuffs her phone in her and shakes her head. 

What a few days it had been. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to post, I have had school problems and was not able to find time to write this, but here it is! The beginning is a little confusing, but I wrote that about a week ago. I'm not sure when I'll post next but for now here it is!


	7. The end or the beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have lunch. The gang shows up and a lot happens. Clarke is thrown back in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so this is it. The end is here, but then again there will be more works, don't worry! I'm glad you guys have enjoyed this work so much. I myself have enjoyed writing this even if I messed up on some things. I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter and I'll post another work to this series soon!

Clarke hums as she watches Lexa's truck pull up. She had been waiting for at least 6 minutes for Lexa. The brunette in mind honks her horn, grabbing Clarke's attention again. 

Clarke climbs into the passenger seat and smiles over at Lexa. "Hey, you ready?" Lexa rolls her eyes at Clarke and nods. 

"Well yeah. I've been ready for an hour babe." 

Clarke huffs at her, causing Lexa to laugh. "It's not my fault my professor kept me after class." Lexa shakes her head fondly and starts to drive. 

"We're going to the burger joint," Lexa says and Clarke beams, bouncing in her seat. Lexa chuckles at her. "You're adorable Clarke." Clarke huffs at her again and slides in her seat. 

~~~~~~ 

They had just entered the burger joint and it smelled amazing. Clarke knew she was gonna enjoy being with Lexa and eating some burgers. 

 Lexa leads them over to a booth where Clarke sits next to Lexa. She eagerly grabs the menu and scans over it. Lexa chuckles at her. "Someones hungry," The older girl teases and Clarke glares at her. 

"Well I did get held back after class so yeah I am." Lexa just laughs and looks at Clarke with a smile. 

After a few minutes the waiter comes over and asks them what they want. Clarke orders a double bacon burger and Lexa orders a normal burger and they both get large fries to share. The man, Jaques, nods and scurries off. 

Lexa sighs and rests her head on Clarke's shoulder. "I love you, Clarke." Clarke smiles and rests her own head on top of Lexa's head. 

"I love you too." Lexa grins and buries her face into Clarke's neck. A couple walking by their table makes a sour face at them, but one glare from Clarke and they walk away quickly. 

Lexa chuckles, "I saw that." Clarke grumbles and looks down at her. "Yeah so?" Lexa doesn't say anything, she just leans up and kisses her gently. Clarke loses herself in the kiss, feeling Lexa's hand rubbing circles on her stomach. Someone clears their throat, pulling Clarke and Lexa's attention away from each other. 

Standing at their table was Raven, Anya, Lincoln, and Octavia. Clarke and Lexa look at them with surprise. "What are you guys doing here?" The 4 just stuff themselves onto one side of the booth and stay quiet for a moment. 

"Something happened," Raven says looking Clarke directly in the eyes. Clarke eyes Raven carefully. 

"What do you mean?" Raven glances around at the other friends sitting at the table. She looks like something was making her uncomfortable. 

"Listen to me carefully Clarke. Jack Snow found out where you live again." 

Those words make Clarke's world come crashing down. Jack Snow, the leader of the three boys. He had done the worst of the damage. Nothing had ever happened to him either. His family was rich and powerful, so of course Jack had gotten away with it. He had caused the worst of Clarke's PTSD. One year after moving away Jack had found where she had lived and threatened her life. Clarke and her parents moved again, much to their dismay. 

Clarke could feel the start of a panic attack bubbling up inside her. She couldn't believe this was happening. Not again, she couldn't move. She didn't want to. Her breathing was getting fast and she felt tears fill her eyes. 

"Clarke it's okay, it's okay look at me." Lexa's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. Clarke looks up into her eyes and sees the concern shining in them. Lexa doesn't know who Jack is. Clarke never told her about him. "How about we leave, yeah?" Clarke nods and Lexa pulls her out of the booth. The blonde didn't notice the other 4 friends looking at her. 

 Lexa quickly drove them to Clarke's house and helped Clarke into her room. 

 Lexa gently grabbed Clarke's face and forced the blonde to look at her. "Hey it's okay alright? I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Clarke breaks into a broken sob and collapses into Lexa's open arms. Lexa whispers words of comfort while rocking back and forth slowly. 

After about 5 minutes Clarke had calmed down and she was clutching onto Lexa still. The older girl had been running a hand through Clarke's hair the whole time and it was still doing that. Clarke felt as if she could fall asleep in her arms. 

Lexa sighs and glances down at Clarke. " Do you wanna talk about it?" Clarke shakes her head and buries her head deeper into Lexa's neck. Lexa nods and lays back, pulling Clarke with her. 

"You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I don't know who this Jack is, but whatever happens I'm with you. We'll figure it out together okay? I love you Clarke, always." 

Clarke's eyes fill with tears but she manages a weak nod and says," I love you too, always."

Lexa smiles and closes her eyes, the two slowly drifting to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me please! This was the last chapter but of course there will be more to come. The next fic will start about 3 weeks into the future. Hope you guys enjoyed and stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think and if you want more!


End file.
